Some marriages are over from the start.
In getting my daily fill of celebrity gossip and sleaze, I came upon an article that lists “15 universal signs” we should have all seen before some of the high profile celebrity divorces we have come to know.
Being celebrities and constantly in the public eye, the couples referenced in the Huffington Post article have nearly every aspect of their lives and all kinds of milestones front and center in the media.
From dating to marriage and finally, in many cases, divorce, celebrity couples live out their love, unions and splits much more publically than any of us ever will.
Whether or not we did or could have predicted their divorces is truly insignificant. The same goes with couples in our everyday lives.
We may all have friends that we want to warn and point out the obvious signs of upcoming separation and divorce, but only those in the marriage can truly decide what those signs mean, and ultimately when the time comes to end a marriage or union.
So, what are some of the things we, and the couples, should have taken as red flags and predictors of impending divorce not only for some of these celebrity couples, but even in our own lives?
A few of those telltale signs that a happily-ever-after may not be in the making are:
- Marrying too young (Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoone)
- “When all you do is sit around and smoke weed all day.” (Brad Pitt with then wife Jennifer Anniston)
- “When there’s an earth-shattering lie.” (Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver)
- Getting a tattoo of your spouse. (Tom Arnold & Roseanne Barr)
- “When one person becomes too controlling.” (Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony)
- “When you spend too much time apart.” (Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson)
- “When you want to be truly independent.” (Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes)
- “When you have to choose between your partner and your career.” (Katy Perry and Russell Brand)
- “When you have an ‘open marriage’.” (Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore)
While I’ve only listed nine of the 15 signs, the ones I have included are those that any couple can face, famous or not.
Many of these make sense, and obviously, one is merely comical - that is, the good old tattoo curse.
When it comes to marriage, we all know that there is no perfect scenario. Your spouse is not perfect and neither are you, nor will your marriage be.
What is critically important is not only loving one another, but being able to work as a pair. Compatibility, communication, dedication and the desire for the same things in life, along with aligning values and morals are what the strongest of marriages are built upon.
Can we go by a set of signs to guide us on whether or not to get married or divorced? I’m not sure a rigid structure is the way to go, but noticing unhealthy behaviors for one’s self and to each other is always something to pay close attention to.
Being in love surely blinds those involved in less than ideal situations to continue with the courtship. Whether or not the signs are visible to everyone around does not matter, it all comes down to the two people involved to really take heed and notice. Until then, all we can do is wait for the inevitable – or be proven terribly wrong.