What would you do if your 14-year-old daughter came to you to discuss her thoughts about possibly having sex?
If you're Kris Jenner, and your daughter was Kim Kardashian, you'd be putting her on birth control.
The Daily Mail reports that Kim told Oprah how her mother's answer to her expressing that she was contemplating having sex was to say "okay...we’re gonna put you on birth control."
I completely understand the thinking of wanting to make sure that your teen doesn't get pregnant. I don't understand how the first step in preventing teen pregnancy, especially when they are reaching out to you with their thoughts, is to put a child on birth control.
Kids going through puberty are curious and are starting to gain a sense of independence. With those physical, mental and emotional changes that teenage years bring, it is natural for kids to want to exercise their ability to act as adults. And, unfortunately, that is sometimes done through sex.
I applaud Kris Jenner for fostering such relationships with her kids that they, or at least Kim, went to her to talk about desires, or thoughts of, having sex, especially at such a young age.
Don't get me wrong, no 14-year-old should be contemplating whether or not they're going to have sex, but they may have desires to do so. Any way you slice it, no 14-year-old is ready for sex.
It's great that Kim felt comfortable enough to go to her mother to talk about it, and to get her advice. Let's face it, there are 14 year olds that are having sex.
Is it better to have your child be a candidate for 16 and Pregnant than to have them on birth control? No, but I think that if your child is coming to you to express their thoughts about wanting to possibly engage in sex, abstinence should be the first message that is given to the still very impressionable child.
To respond with the act of placing a 14 year old on birth control sends a message to her that it is acceptable for her to be having sex. And that is wrong. Whether or not you provide the birth control with a spiel on how abstinence is key, the message you are sending is that 'it is okay to have sex, and I am more than willing to help you prepare for the act.'
Not only was abstinence not referrenced in Kim's recanting of her memory, but neither were safer sex practices, which could very well have been discussed by Jenner with Kim. What sticks out in Kim's memory is her mother's action of putting her on birth control, not any of the other topics she might have discussed with her.
The message that resonated with Kim was that it was okay for her to have sex at the age of 14, which is not only unacceptable from a parenting standpoint, but very telling of the affect that moment had on her.