Sunday Pun Story: Roscoe, the Pun-loving Cat

When our cat, Roscoe, was a kitten, we thought he was a goner when he became comatose. But we gave him a cat-atonic, and he was just fine.

Since we found him when he was a wee kitten, we worried that he didn't have a mother to teach him how to become an adult cat. So we took him to the Cat skills mountains.

Poor Roscoe had fleas at first, playing hide and seek in his long, fluffy fur. But one flea was claustrophobic, and kept yelling, "Get me out of hair!"

Roscoe's favorite toy was a cloth cat made in Iran that he kept on the front seat of our station wagon. We called it his Persian car pet!

Do you know, Roscoe is a real entrepreneur. He'll buzz on command, but he expects to be paid a small purr-centage!

Even as a kitten, Roscoe was stubborn. He just wouldn't wear his mittens. We figured out he was claws-trophobic with them on!

Roscoe always loved music, and when he was a teenager, he started a band of singing cats. Their first performance was a mew-sical!

In addition to playing music, young Roscoe was a magician. He developed a dark pink potion that he claimed would turn people into alley cats. When he threatened to use it on me, it sure did give me paws!

Now that Roscoe has a wife and six kittens, he takes part in the housework. In fact, he loves to cook, and uses his whisk-ers to mix up a mean soufflé! But his favorite activity is still thinking up double entendres. He calls it pundering!

David R. Yale is the author of Pun Enchanted Evenings: 746 Original Word Plays.
© 2011 by David R. Yale