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Virgo with Sagittarius

Is it love, or an illusion?

Dear Yael,

I was born August 24, 1977 in [withheld for privacy]. I just broke up with a man born November 24, 1962 in [withheld for privacy].  I'm not sure whether my breakup was a result of a resistance to bonding, commitment, and compromising or as a result of not loving him enough. We met 5 months ago, but we were only together for 6-7 weeks altogether, as we live in different countries. We had an amazingexperience in the very beginning.  He's very spiritual, healthy, practical, honest, loving, and physical. When he came over to visit me, the interaction between us changed, and since then, our communication suffered and my attraction to him lessened.  I do think we have the potential of overcoming these obstacles, and still I didn't bring myself to stay and fight for it. Should I try to reverse my decision?

Thank you,

Lady Virgo

Advice Seeker's Chart: Sun Virgo, Moon Sagittarius, Mercury Virgo, Venus Cancer, Mars Gemini and Jupiter Cancer.  

Partner’s Chart: Sun Sagittarius, Moon Scorpio, Mercury Sagittarius, Venus Scorpio, Mars Leo and Jupiter Pisces.

The moon governs needs, emotions, moods, and habits; Mars rules defense mechanisms and thought processes; Mercury governs communication; Venus rules the world of love, pleasure, and desires; and Jupiter is the career sign.

Dear Lady Virgo,

This is a tough question, mainly because I cannot tell you if you should reverse your decision or not. 

I believe in love as a transforming agent, and that if two people are truly committed to each other (no matter their astrological signs), then anything is possible.  However, by merely looking at your basic charts, we may be able to deconstruct what went wrong in your short but probably intense love affair.

Your Virgo Sun-Sagittarius Moon combination often brings you a feeling of imbalance in your daily life.  A Virgo Sun is earthy, practical, analytical, slow-paced, reliable, hardworking, stubborn, active and health-conscientious.  A Sagittarius Moon indicates that you are fiery, curious, adventurous, spontaneous, philosophical, and opinionated.  Thus, the Virgo/Sagittarius combination produces a complex and contradictory personality. 

You are not the typical Virgo, since you are lead by your dreams rather than practical reality.  You exist in the world of possibility, which is why you have a hard time deciding on potential mates.  You fall in love with a person’s potential rather than what is.  You are idealistic, romantic, philosophical, dramatic and communicative. 

To understand your interactions with the opposite sex, you will need to come to terms with your nature.  Your major challenge in life will be to harness your restlessness.

Regarding your potential partner, he also has a dualistic nature, like you.  A man with a Sagittarius Sun and Scorpio Moon is optimistic, determined, aggressive, clever, intensely passionate and sensitive.  The downside is that he is emotionally reactive and can be tactless at times. 

Your communication styles are very different, being that your Mercury is in Virgo and his is in Sagittarius.  You are more reserved in your language, while he is more direct and even blunt.  The good news is that your approach to love is very similar being that your Venus is in Cancer and his is in Scorpio.  This indicates an obvious physical attraction; you are both able to express affection easily when together.

I can see why you would want to fight for this connection, but keep in mind that you need to first ask yourself if you are doing this for the right reasons.  Are you in love with him or his potential?  You say that you are not sure why you broke up with him.  I would like to address the fact that both of you were in the honeymoon phase of the relationship.  This is usually the most idealistic time.  Even in this period, you indicate that you and your partner had difficulties in communicating, compromising, and bonding.  An amazing beginning cannot ensure the longevity of such a union. 

Your spiritual, introspective side was attracted to what he had to offer.  Sometimes we meet people along our journey who remind us of what we need for the long haul.  Perhaps this man came into your life for the simple purpose of waking you up to yourself, your needs, and your desires.  An intensely short-term affair does not negate the love that you have for each other.  You certainly appear as love-struck, but I encourage you to dig deeper into why you doubt your decision.  I am not questioning your connection, neither am I negating your feelings, however, if you re-read your question, you will notice a couple of indicators that actually answer your question. 

You start your question already expressing doubts in the relationship, creating excuses as to why it may have failed.  You do not state your feelings towards him.  You already reveal that the relationship failed.  It appears as though your doubts arose out of comparing what could have been to what actually was.  You need to look at the connection on a realistic plane.  Stay clear of falling in love with an illusion.  How can one overcome basic obstacles without a truly optimistic outlook?  Your language indicates that you yourself are unsure of the love you have for him.  How can you fight for something you don't even know exists?  Why fight for a connection that is unstable to begin with?  Only you hold the keys to these questions.

Perhaps you are sure of your feelings for him and are simply unsure of how to express them. If this is the case, re-evaluate what he means for you.  Are you running away from something or to someone?

I hope my response brings some clarity to your decision,

Yael

olga melkumova June 14, 2011 at 04:03 AM
I'd like to start with noting that this is strictly just my opinion....and we all know what people say about that =). Firstly.. realistically speaking I think that long distance relationships have a very slim chance of success. Speaking from experience...it is very romantic, but highly,highly impractical...Secondly 6-7 weeks of actual physical interaction is just a grain of sand in the desert, and not nearly enough time to even begin to get to know the true nature of ones character...thirdly.. there is just too much doubt, too early in game. Despite all the wonderful qualities of Lady Virgos partner, this relationship will need more time and patience from both sides to see whether it will beautifully evolve, or gracefully dissolve.....either way be honest with yourself, cherish the experience and learn from it.......that's what i would do....................^OLA^
Yael Morowati June 14, 2011 at 06:54 PM
Olga, Thank you so much for your comment!!! I think you are spot on. Relationships take time to develop and to settle into, since they are almost like the 3rd person. Each has it's own character and dynamics. I love your comment - please feel free to write more. Yael

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