Moonchild Searching for a Grown-up

Dear Yeal,

I was born on July 8, 1970, in Bayamon, Puerto Rico, at 12 a.m. I am now at the stage of my life where I would like to get married and have children.

I have had a few unsuccessful relationships with men that end up draining me emotionally. I felt that I always had to be the "cheerleader" for them. I am still attracting men that tend to be downers and depressed. I am tired of this pattern! I no longer want to be a mommy figure to the men I date. 

What sign would suit me best? I am looking for the following qualities: gentlemanly, kind, loving, family-oriented, loyal, faithful, solid and spiritual. 

As for me, I am very feminine on the inside, but I give off a very strong and stubborn persona. I have a very hard shell that few are able to break. 

What should I do to bring balance with my two sides: the fiery and the emotional?  How can I embrace the Cancerian moonchild that I am and attract the man of my dreams?

Sincerely,

The Weary Cheerleader

Advice Seeker's Chart: Aries Ascendant, Cancer Sun, Virgo Moon, Cancer Mercury, Leo Venus, Cancer Mars, and Libra Jupiter.   The moon governs needs, emotions, moods, and habits; Mars rules defense mechanisms and thought processes; Mercury governs communication; Venus rules the world of love, pleasure, and desires; and Jupiter is the career sign.

Dear Weary Cheerleader,

Female Cancers play the nurturing role, since Cancer is the mother of the zodiac.  Most Cancer women have a tendency toward depression, self-deprecation, mood swings, and excessive sensitivity, simply because they do not know how to manage the emotions around them, and quite frankly their own.  

A few points I would like to make about your past relationships are the following: Cancers in general have a great ability to empathize with people.  They naturally absorb environments and situations, and they respond with their gut instinct.  While sensitivity is a beautiful gift, if it is not harnessed appropriately, this can be very destructive.  

Cancer women love to take care of the one they are with to such a heightened degree that they smother their partners.  They go where they are needed.  If someone is having a rough time or is suffering, Cancers jump in, and emotionally save the day.  

This is why you have been attracting men who need babying rather than men you could possibly marry.  You need to learn to decipher between maternal love and love for one’s mate.  

You have three planets in Cancer: Sun, Mercury, and Mars.  Thus, your communication style is subversive and somewhat secretive, and your mind is ruled by your emotions rather than logic.  You are extremely driven to marry and have children, but you need to be very cautious in who you choose.  

Being that you are inclined to babying and pampering those closest to you, I suggest that you try a new approach.  Don’t look for men who need you to teach them how to open up and feel.  Look for a man who is solid in his life, such as a Taurus or Capricorn.  Perhaps they are more reserved at first, but they will be able to provide you with a safe environment as well as the nest of your dreams.

While Pisces and Scorpios are usually rated 10/10 for Cancers, in your case, I believe that a man with too much water will repeat the same tendencies you have previously stated.  If you want a loving, family-oriented, loyal, solid, and spiritual man, either a Capricorn or Taurus is your best option.  

While Scorpios and Pisces, your fellow water signs, are more spiritual, you seem to prioritize family and stability, of which both Capricorn and Taurus can provide.  Beyond that, you mention your fiery and emotional nature.  I would suggest taking some psychology classes, reading Carl Jung, or doing something creative.  You have to manage these two extremes, and not look for a man to do the sorting out for you.  Good luck in finding Mr. Right.

Yael