How to Avoid Being Taken Advantage Of

Dear Yael,

I am a Libra Girl, and I seem to encounter the same problem over and over! I am a trusting individual, and normally trust most of the people I meet. I always presume their dealings with me would be the same way I would deal with them, and that a handshake means something important. Time and time again I am left disappointed by people that lie and double deal behind my back, even those that I have known for over 20 years! I would like to remain a trusting and loving person, but at the same time, I am really getting really tired of being taken advantage of and lied to. Do the stars say that I will always be a gullible person, destined to be forever taken advantage of?

These are my sign particulars:

Sun in Libra, Rising in Sagittarius, Moon in Sagittarius, Mercury in Scorpio, Venus in Virgo, Mars in Sagittarius, Jupiter in Leo, Saturn in Aries, Uranus in Virgo, Neptune in Scorpio, Pluto in Virgo, and True Node in Aries.

Thank you!

The Trusting Libra

Dear Trusting Libra,

I have noticed the same patterns again and again with Libras (and Libra women in particular).  Libras have been some of the most beautiful and giving people I have ever met.  Also, remember that Mother Theresa and Gandhi were both Libras.  John Lennon too, just to give you an idea of what your sign is capable of.  I’m crazy about Libras, but yes, they are often taken advantage of, and not in small doses. 

Let me offer some suggestions that will perhaps curtail this tendency in the future.  Firstly, do not change who you are. There is nothing wrong with being selfless and pure of heart.  This world could not function without your energy.  We need people like you – those who continue to look for the good in others – for this world to make it. Secondly, I have analyzed the situation a little and have some suggestions for you.

Look for the Balance: As you hardly ever operate in the world of 50/50 but prefer to give 100%, perhaps giving others a chance to meet you half way is a start.  I’m not saying don’t give your 100%, but learn to do it slowly. Not all on the table from day one.  Reign in the impulsive goodness that you have. People also need to be able to give – it makes them feel better inside.

Use Your Gift for the Good of All, including Yourself: Your Sagittarius Rising, Moon, and Mars are also responsible for your selfless tendencies.  You are restless, independent, fiery, free, creative, altruistic, and humanistic in your endeavors.  Others have a hard time matching you in this respect.  Sometimes one’s greatest gifts can also become her detriments if not balanced appropriately.  In your case, your mottos have most likely been: “give all or nothing” and “don’t give to receive.”  While I applaud you for your nature, as we have seen, time and time again, it is being used against you. 

Create Boundaries: Your love of freedom and independence (your Libra and Sagittarius signs) come before your need to rely on people.  As you love to give freely, without worrying about the consequences, focus more on quality rather than quantity.  Be more selective in your inter-personal relationships. 

Use contracts.  Maintain your openness, but when dealing with people and in your business, have everything in writing from day one. Even if you have known the person for years, have everything in writing.  You must have a common language; people understand contracts.  Handshakes work in the Middle East, but not here.   

Show is Better than Tell: We teach people how to treat us.  Create a precedent in your life, with family and friends.  Show who you are being, not in words, but in your actions.  Due to their needs to keep the peace and live in harmony with others, many Libras suppress their own needs for the sake of others.  We cannot be upset with people, if we don’t speak up.  So rather than waiting for a situation to get out of hand, take control early on rather than allowing someone else to take the reins. I know this is not in your nature, but if you wish to prevent these situations from reoccurring, then you must learn to woman up fast. 

Libras also have a need to be loved and appreciated.  I have met numerous Libra women who remain in toxic relationships for years, not thinking that they deserve more than what they get.  For me, even though I need to be cautious about being partial, Libras are one of the more beautiful signs.  You radiate compassion, harmony, and truth.  Some of the most influential women in my life have been Libras, so I am very protective of all of you.

Finally, I would like to add that I don't think that you are gullible.  I actually believe that you have great judgment when it comes to people and your intuition is probably spot-on.  Your concern with humanity as whole and your endless compassion are your driving forces.  Sagittarius and Libra energies combine into a very truth-oriented, altruistic individual.  Do not label yourself “gullible” but rather “hopeful.”  People cannot grow if we neither give them the means nor the opportunity to do so.  You are a strong enough woman to give people many chances to prove themselves.  You decide to live this way. No one cornered you into it; therefore, I suggest you put an end to seeing yourself as gullible, for what you do is not gullible in the slightest.  Only solid and confident people can extend their hands openly the way you do.

Remain true to yourself.  Be gentle and loving but not at the expense of your own livelihood.

I hope this clears up some of the chaos,

Yael